Nifty Noodles/ Committee of the Mind

2/27/04 Encinitas, CA
Seacoast Church has a Celebrate Recovery. Drove down with a couple of friends to play a mini concert and raise awareness in the area about the need for recovery... Seems like it's something though somebody has to become aware of for themselves.

An odd conflict... How to you promote and make people aware of what they need. Feels like selling elixir.

I played to a good crowd for the size of the room. Many responded with tears to "If You Pray For Me" and "Never Lied to You"... So maybe music is the great way to open a person's heart... Like I didn't know that already.

The hit of the night was the story of the "committee of the mind"... You might know it as "No you won't, Yes I will". Hadn't planned on playin it. Didn't have any records there with that song on it either.

I was distracted in concert somewhat.. So enmeshed in the daily grind of my own issues I didn't know how to present the overall picture. Their were visitors unfamiliar with any of this... One guy just saw a poster in a bookstore and remembered me from years ago... He was a little stunned at where I'm coming from these days.

"Wow a lot has happened since I saw you last... Some nine years ago." Couldn't tell if he was disappointed, or excited. The great thing about these days and my struggle to stay connected to others is when I can see past my own failures and look at how I might contribute to the bigger picture. There has to be a coming to terms with myself before I can stop being self conscious enough to consider how I might help someone else... That "letting go" is so hard to maintain.

One of the reasons I offer my services to these recovery meeting whenever I can. I was a helper in their work here rather than the main attraction... I look the same on stage but there is a vast difference in my point of view.

So O.K. Then.... Bryan D

Nifty Noodles/ Rapidly Falling

2/21/04 Rapid Falls, South Dakota
Flew out of Ontario, Cal for the first time in nearly a year. I got all the way to the airport before discovering I had left my wallet at home... (went home to find it in the washing machine! Got back just 50 minutes before the flight and still got through security... Amazing.

Rapid City South Dakota is an outpost on the frontier. Finally got a chance to drive out to Mt Rushmore it was late at night and we had nothing to do as we are here a day early for a gig in Wyoming. The tourist town below the monument was a virtual ghost town... saw no one there at all and nothing open. The presidents look smaller than I expected but then so did the White House a few months ago.

The real highlight was the stars in the sky on a cold clear night... The sky looks more three dimensional out here,ir maybe the stars just like it out here better than L.A... They just seem to congregate! We stood in the cold and turned off the car lights and stared up at the Milky Way. Awesome sight and then just as we were leaving we saw a shooting star streak across the heavens literally the length of the sky... A five second long experience. I started to wonder if it wasn't a missile or a man made rocket!

The rest of the evening was spent hanging in the hotel lobby watching a really bad movie... One of Arnold Schwarzenegger's early ventures. To say the least there was a lot of down time... Next morning I had time for a long moral inventory and several deep phone conversations with friends to stay connected.

At noon we headed for Gillette, Wyoming where the first of two concerts was being held. I stopped in Sturgis, home of the largest Harley Davidson bike rally. But that is in the summer... It too was nearly a ghost town. Never the less I bought a few biker t shirts and a coffee mug just to prove I've been there. We had lunch at Wrigley Field, a sports bar and grill and hung out for an hour waiting to be met by KSLT radio station program director who was to drive us to the gig two hours away in Gillette.

The drive to this gig provided lots of funny fodder at the show as I described the hours of absolutely nothing between here and Rapid Falls...No off ramps, no telephone poles to even give you the sense of movement, no potty stops or even trees to hide behind!

By the time I got on stage I was just thrilled to be doing anything! the crowd was small but very engaging and I just felt a "wonderful to be alive" kind of freedom... I laughed easily with these folks... Many were transplants from California come to find out.

Got an offer to fly in a customized airplane over the Black Hills but lacked the trust to take him up on the offer. Talked to a few bikers from Christian Motorcycle club. Who said he might find us some bikes to ride on Sunday... I'm waiting for that one but not holding my breath...

***** Sunday... The bike thing never transpired... Not a peep. Spent the day driving in the Black Hills on roads that were custom made for motorcycles... Two lane ribbons winding through the trees. Stopped at Sheridan Lake, completely frozen over. I was tempted to drive the rental right out on it as there were some other cars out there... But we thought it would be cheaper if we just walked out on the ice... At least we wouldn't be billed for the car!

This is the most down time I've had on a weekend gig that I can ever remember. Absolutely nothing to do here except enjoy the view. I felt cast away all afternoon... This could effect my mood for the concert... I start obsessing and depressing...The show however was packed... Standing room only, many didn't seem to know me or my music. It was great to do a full two hour concert and the highlight was looking for sounds on the keyboard... five minutes of running spontaneous comedy! I think people thought it was part of the show.

Next morning we visited the radio station to open their week of fund raising. The station is next to a golf course and so naturally I asked if we could hit a few balls... To raise money for the station of course. So there we were, my sound man and I doing a live remote from the driving range... Hitting golf balls in 27 degree weather. It was like hitting rocks. But we raised $150. With just one magnificent swing of my barrowed club... O.k. It was a worm burner but the ground was frozen too and so the ball rolls forever.

Then I asked to read the weather report as I am a wanna be radio d.j. I messed it up at the end... Tripping over the words "patchy Fog"... I pronounced it "Potchy Fag"... And then proceeded to back peddle it into a near FCC fine for inappropriate conversation.

The people I met in South Dakota are down to earth honest and unassuming they dress practical and don't seem to be remotely judgmental... As I gave them plenty of opportunities to be irritated with me. All in all, I was an attention deficit nightmare trapped in an empty room without windows. I think they sighed a sigh of relieve when I left.

So there ya go... Bryan D

Nifty Noodles/The Passion

2/25/04 Riverside, CA
I went to the 4:30 showing of the Passion. Made the mistake of going alone. Left dumbfounded... Not because of the movie... It was like a re-run where you know everything exactly the way it's gonna happen. I've heard the depiction in as much detail over my lifetime as you could possibly imagine.

I think it is the implications that I as a believer know about the gruesome beating that Jesus took that brought me to nearly uncontrollable sobs. This was for my benefit! I left quietly not wanting to talk to anybody.

I was conflicted. Why hasn't this story changed my life more than it has? I felt guilt and shame that I wasn't just screaming his name at everyone from the rooftops... Thirty years in his service and I feel small and ineffective. Less inclined today to focus attention on him. Self conscious and beaten down after all these years.

If anything my sins seem worse...I couldn't have imagined I'd fall so far from grace... I got a good jump on the answers and "righteousness". It feels like getting a head start in a race and coming in dead last.

I am profoundly numb. Interesting that someone outside the "Christian Community" would have the opportunity to present the reality of the crucifixion with such impact. Of course all they talk about on the news is 'the posibility of anti semitism and other takes on a movie about Christ, completely avoiding any conversation about the story and Christ himself.

The really bizarre thing was walking out acting like it's just another night at the movies. What can you say? where do you start? I had no energy to carry his cross any further myself than to my own truck in the parking lot. And I drove away weeping in the dark.

..... Bryan D

Nifty Noodles/More Rehab

2/20/04 L.A.
Finished recording two more shows on the Road TO Redemption...#29 & #30 Ashley Cleveland was on Both shows and so was Keb Mo... Hope I'm not getting in a rut musically but man I like their stuff.

The two shows are part of the series "Guardrails on the Road To Redemption" #29 is "Reinforcements and Rest Assurance" # 30 is "A Higher Power"... Both are significantly more up beat than shows in the past but I'll let you check em out yourself when they go up on line.

I've been listening to all the shows we've done so far every day of late... And I believe they are good even for me... I hear things coming out of my mouth that I have to take another look at all the time. I guess it doesn't stick with just one hearing...it is encouraging to me though.

I finally got a couple of letters from the show on air at KSGN 89.7 FM ... So at least two people are listening regularly besides me.

Starting March 6... Road To Redemption will be airing in London for 30 days on an F.M. Broadcast there...the response I has been positive as they have been playing it in syndication on all the Christian stations in England.

So that's cool... In the mean time I will continue to look at my own struggle and work the recovery program for me first and see what happens next.

I keep coming back... Bryan D.

Nifty Noodles/Lakewood Church

Lakewood Church is the biggest church in America according to Forbes magazine. I was reminded numerous times. It's like visiting the Whitehouse. I'm not used to being "quarantined" by security. I was shadowed every minute except for when I was deposited in the green room... It felt like a holding tank to me... I like to wander around.

I guess it's the attention deficit hyperactivity in me that hates being restricted. I just don't fit that "Special Dignitary" mentality.

I sang in the Saturday night service "I love you with my life". And following that I sung a two hour long concert, party atmosphere, for the adult singles valentines banquet... I had assumed it was a couples dinner for some reason and started to leave early as I figured folks would want to spend time with their date or significant other... I was informed that attendees were single for Valentines day... And could I play another 40 minutes as we have no where to go really! 8)

I played every rockin tune I've ever written... The hall got loud with conversations as many talked through the whole concert so it had a decidedly Lounge feel except that the mellow songs seemed out of place.

Sunday morning it was two more services where I sang one song... The same song too as it is a televised service.. No I don't know if I will be on the aired program. I had to leave for the airport before the end of the final service and it was nice to be greeted by the pastor and his family members, all part of the ministry here.

Pastor Osteen is very soft spoken but delivers a cutting message. The surroundings during the service would not indicate his demeanor. This is very similar to my dad's church, Mildly Pentecostal.

The thing about HUGE churches and working with them is that it comes with a feeling that I am contributing very little to the overall ministry. This bus doesn't need my help really. It's a long way from the "be everything" kind of small gigs that I do mostly.

Thanks for lettin me share.... Bryan D

Nifty Noodles/Under A Harsh Light
2/13/04 Adelanto, Ca
The first of two Valentines banquets started here for couples from Calvary Chapel of Adelanto. I played under a harsh light, no stage to speak of and a raspy keyboard to my ear. The air was extremely dry as this is the High Desert.

Fortunately I was only doing 35 minutes of the program. That's all the voice I had too. I did everything in the garden, no words, blue skies, when it comes to love, I never lied to you, I love you with my life, Love takes time... And came back at the end with Maybe I'm Amazed.

It was amazingly quiet through out the set. I felt nervous. Valentines day is not a big favorite of mine. Maybe I make too much out of it. But it's kinda like "report card" day for your marriage of love relationship... the way I've always looked at it.

I should simplify my expectations. Love and relationships come with lots of unexpected misunderstandings, poor communication, and down right hard times I think. And I pretty much communicated that pretty well.

But I was assured by the pastor that everyone there had been through some pretty tough times in their relationships as well. The speaker at this banquet laid out a wonderful balance in love relationships and even quoted from the most harsh song I did... "never lied to you". And I felt better about the direction I took.

I had planned to stay "frivolous" ... But I was compelled to give an honest appraisal of my own experience to the point I felt overexposed! I drove home alone to catch a plane in the morning to Houston where I will be tomorrow.

Thanks for loving me though... Bryan D

Nifty Noodles/Surprise Mission
2/10/04 Santa Ana, CA
It was a surprise to me about 3:30 in the afternoon... There's a message on my machine that I was supposed to be at the Orange County Rescue Mission tonight... I didn't recall it and didn't put it on my calendar. Fortunately I got down there assuming I agreed to something verbally and it got scheduled. Turned out my agency had been contacted and I had willingly granted a concert for the managers of Rescue Missions across the country. So I arrive to a full house at my regular gig.

I plugged my stuff in to the little contraption of a p.a. At OCRM... And dialed up my own sound... I had such a great time I forgot this wasn't a very professional set up... Everything flowed...and I played for an hour and a half and the conversation was fresh and funny and honest. I was almost overwhelmed at how I come alive after feeling the way I have all week.

It is always good to see the regulars at the mission. Some are like brothers to me. Always glad to see me askin how I'm doin' with all the concern of genuine friends. (like they don't have enough trouble of their own).

There is such power in these experiences... Genuine connection and a sincere feeling of gratitude both ways...I always leave there in a great mood but wondering why this doesn't happen in the "professional world". More acting and pretense, maybe, more strife perhaps... But it's not the same as this gig.

I left with the left over chicken from the dinner... One of the guys was proud to hand it to me in tin foil... "I'd like to accept this award... I have so many people to thank"....8)

OK so there's that... Bryan D

Nifty Noodles/ At SF in LA

2/4/03 Los Angeles
Just returned from an all day effort at Sound Foundations, David Rowe's studio in L.A. The Rehab show I was having so much trouble preparing last week came out supremely this week... "the Predicament of Neediness". Not a fun subject but something that has always been irritating to me in my life time. The songs?

Anointed/ It's a matter of Love
Erin O'Donnell/ to Be Loved
Sting/ Fragile
Jeff Lorber/ Worth Waiting For
Williams Brothers/ Cooling Water
Rufus Troutman/ Amazing Grace
And yes... Me/ We All Need (I finally came to terms with my own song)

It's amazing what a little music in the background can do for the spoken word... It is encouraging to me!

I also added "scratch vocals" to a couple of songs I've written with Bob Carlisle... I forgot how good these tunes were as I did the lyrics some months ago and they sat because of .... Well I don't know... "Second Chances" gave me chills driving home listening to the rough vocal... And Chains was just cool. Neither song sounds like anything I've ever done in my career to date.

Suddenly I remembered that songs created is what I love the most (after the creative work is done and you can stand back and see that it is good!) I almost forgot that I could do this!

I'm reasonably happy 8) Bryan D

Nifty Noodles/ What Crowd?

2/1/04 home
I got several emails from friends who were upset that they didn't know about my gig in Pismo Beach. Sometimes I've been known to go do gigs for Recovery programs...without an official contract. These programs aren't exactly run by "promoters". So the word doesn't get out I guess.

These gigs are more about connection that promoting ME as an artist. It's ME being part of something bigger than my effort... I know it makes ME look less successful... But this is part of the redirection in my life... Giving to others has been more rewarding personally for ME.

Success in Christian Music has been rather predictably defined just as it has been in all other worlds. Numbers! Size! Visible Impact!... The very thing that always leaves ME unsatisfied and looking for more.

I think it is a lie to believe that this is God's work showing his obvious approval... It's a subtle thing... And I love to play for big crowds too but I don't see a lot of that bigger is better thinking in Jesus' Ministry...

Of course my thinking here probably sounds like a justification for my lack of success too... I just don't know where all this is going but I think of the rich man dipping in the Jordan seven times... There wasn't exactly a crowd for that event! To see this in "marketing" terms is a trap that even I fall into... Redemption can never be a career move and God help me if I turn it into one!

Keep coming back.... Bryan D

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